Back to December
by spiralmonster
Summary: Sasu/Naru Songfic  Naruto confesses to Sasuke that he loves him. Sasuke leaves the village. Almost three years later Sasuke is back, and he has something to say...


**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any affiliated characters, or the song "Back to December" by Taylor Swift.**

Key:_  
>Song lyrics<br>'Thoughts'**  
>"Song lyrics being spoken"<strong>_

-:-

A bright flash of lightning and a simultaneous clap of thunder were the only warning Naruto had before the downpour came, not a split-second later.

"Well... shit."

The orange-clad ninja jumped away quickly, taking shelter beneath a nearby tree and muttering curses to himself. He had been out on patrol duty, easily a mile away from team seven's campsite, when the rain hit._ 'Kakashi, Sakura, and Sai are probably expecting me back soon, but...' _He jumped up into the tree, hopping from branch to branch until he could peek out at the sky between the thick leaves. The sky was pitch black, stars and moon hiding behind the dark clouds that had brought the rain. Another flash of lightning lit his view momentarily, allowing Naruto to see the millions of raindrops racing down toward him. He hopped back down to the ground, sitting cross-legged against the trunk of the enormous tree. _'Even if I ran back to camp as fast as I could I'd be soaked to the bone when I got there, and I don't have another change of clothes.'_ Naruto weighed his options momentarily, and ultimately decided that it would be best if he waited out the rain and made a mad dash for camp as soon as it let up. These sudden showers never lasted long, and his teammates would surely understand why he hadn't come back on time.

Naruto unfolded his legs, spreading them out in front of him as he leaned back against the tree trunk. The blond took a deep breath through his nose, taking in the sweet scent of the rain. He had always loved the smell and sound of falling rain. _'That sound always puts me to sleep,' _he thought distantly, yawning as the words went through his mind. Cerulean eyes slid closed for a minute, and their owner considered letting them stay closed. He wouldn't get in too much trouble if he didn't come back until morning. As a matter of fact, his teammates would probably assume he had fallen asleep when he didn't come back. Before he could drift off, however, a loud burst of thunder caused Naruto's eyes to snap open, just in time to see the last remnants of a lightning bolt flashing through the gaps in the trees.

Naruto winced slightly. He used to enjoy the lightning just as much as he enjoyed the rain itself, but nowadays all it did was bring back bad memories. Painful memories. Memories of...

"Sasuke," Naruto whispered the boy's name into the empty space in front of him. His eyes slid shut once more, memories dancing in front of them. Naruto was taken instantly back to that cold night in December when he had told Sasuke how he really felt about him. He confessed that his resentment toward the last Uchiha was nothing more than an attempt to hide his true feelings for the boy. When they had been put on the same team the two of them became not only rivals, but friends. Best friends. They had become so close that Naruto thought it would be okay to tell Sasuke how he felt. He thought that maybe, just maybe, his friend felt the same way about him.

_'I was stupid,'_ Naruto thought to himself, a lonely tear sliding slowly down his cheek. _'So stupid.'_

He opened his eyes and stared off into the distance, not really seeing anything. He could almost hear Sasuke's voice as more and more memories came flooding back.

"Naruto."

The blond smiled softly at the thought of his friend saying his name one more time. The smile fell off of his face when something - someone - stepped into his line of vision. Naruto stood quickly, pulling a kunai out of the pouch around his waist and raising it in front of him... Until he saw who it was that was standing at the edge of the tree's shadow.

The kunai dropped from his hand.

"Sasuke..."

_I'm so glad you made time to see me.  
>How's life? Tell me, how's your family?<br>I haven't seen them in a while..._

Naruto's former teammate stood there as if nothing were out of the ordinary, wearing the same bland expression that was always on his face. It had been almost three years since they had seen each other last, but he recognized his friend immediately. That hair, those eyes, the way he carried himself; he was the same old Sasuke. _'No,' _Naruto decided after a moment of studying the other boy. _'There's something different...' _He squinted his eyes to better see Sasuke in the darkness. Yes, the confident and sure stance was the same, but something in his face, in his eyes... was unsure. He seemed awkward. Before Naruto could put his finger on what exactly was different, Sasuke spoke.

"It's... nice to see you."

Naruto was somewhat baffled by the statement. He watched as Sasuke swallowed a lump in his throat; the other boy was definitely nervous.

"Yeah," the blond replied, somewhat hesitantly. "It's nice to see you too." They both stood there staring at each other for a moment before Naruto added, "It's been a while."

Sasuke gave a slight nod. "It has," he agreed quietly. "How is everyone?"

"They're fine." _'Why do you care?' _Naruto wanted to ask. _'If you hadn't left us all, you would know how we are.' _"Sakura-chan is a medic nin now. She's been training under Tsunade. I travelled with Jiraiya for a while. Everyone else has pretty much stayed the same. Doing missions, moving up through the ranks. I'm the only genin left from our class. Because I was out of the village training. But you know, same old same old." Naruto felt himself rambling and clamped his lips shut.

Sasuke waited a few seconds for the blond to continue. When it became clear that he'd said all he was going to, Sasuke replied, "Well I guess I've been doing pretty much the same as everyone else then. Missions and things."

Naruto's eye twitched. He couldn't stop himself anymore. "Missing nins don't move up through the ranks."

For a moment, Sasuke looked as if he had been physically hit. He hadn't expected such bitterness from his one-time friend. Then all expression fell from his face and he looked down to the ground, knowing he deserved it.

_You've been good, busier than ever.  
>We small talk, work and the weather.<br>Your guard is up and I know why..._

_Because the last time you saw me  
>Is still burned in the back of your mind.<br>You gave me roses and I left them there to die..._

Naruto could tell he had hurt Sasuke. He justified it by telling himself that Sasuke had hurt him first. What he didn't realize was how badly he would be hurting himself by hurting Sasuke. All the pain he had felt for the past three years welled up in his chest and he asked, "What do you want, Sasuke?"

The Uchiha looked up, locking eyes with the blond as he took a few steps forward. Naruto tried to take a few steps back, not wanting to be any closer to his traitorous friend, but ended up just backing into the trunk of the tree that he had been sitting against. He considered sidestepping the tree and continuing to back away, but Sasuke had stopped moving. They stared into each others' eyes for a moment before Sasuke broke the silence again.

"I'm sorry."

All thoughts fell from Naruto's mind. He didn't know what to think. He didn't even know if he had heard correctly. "W-what?"

Sasuke closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Naruto. For leaving the village. For leaving you. I don't know what I was thinking." Naruto's breath left him, along with all of his brain power. He leaned back against the tree and felt himself slide down until he was sitting again. He didn't think he could stand any longer. Sasuke continued, "I never realized how good I had it in the village... How good I had it with you." Naruto closed his eyes, taking deep breaths and trying to process what exactly he was hearing.

_So this is me swallowing my pride,  
>Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night,<br>And I go back to December all the time..._

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,  
>Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine,<br>I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright..._

_I go back to December all the time..._

Sasuke waited patiently for Naruto to gather his bearings. The blond sensed his friend take another couple of steps forward while he had his eyes closed, but he stayed put. Blue eyes slid open and Sasuke stopped moving. Naruto examined his friend closely, noting that he didn't appear to have any weapons on him. Of course that didn't mean a damn thing at Sasuke's skill level, but the knowledge still put Naruto at ease. He tried to gather his thoughts, find something - anything - to say to Sasuke's apology. All the while the Uchiha stood watching his friend, not wanting to interrupt the thought process. Finally, Naruto spoke.

"Why..?" he started, but trailed off before he finished the question. "How..?" he began again, but that question was also left unasked. He brought his knees up, resting his elbows on his legs and burying his face in his hands. There were so many questions flying through his mind that he didn't know where to begin, what to start with. Sasuke anticipated a lot of the questions and answered as best as he could.

"I've become skilled at tracking. I've been following you since you left the village, waiting for a time when I could catch you alone without worrying about anyone coming to look for you." Naruto looked up from his hands and Sasuke locked eyes with him. "I came to apologize because you deserved an apology. The reason I haven't come until now is a little more complicated." Naruto searched his friend's face when the boy paused, looking for any indication of why he was there. At this closer proximity, Naruto noticed something that he hadn't at first.

"You haven't been sleeping," he said. Sasuke brought a hand up to his face, running his fingers over the deep purple bags under his eyes as he nodded.

"For years I've immersed myself in training and studying, forcing thoughts of you, Sakura, Kakashi... the whole village, out of my mind. But it caught up to me..." He paused again, putting the hand back down at his side. He took a deep breath before he continued. "I started dreaming about that night, over and over. It got to the point where I didn't want to sleep because I didn't want to watch myself leave again anymore." Sasuke laughed at himself, a hollow laugh that held no emotion. "The thing is, all I could think about while I was awake was the same thing I'd been dreaming about."

Naruto nodded. Part of him wanted to feel bad for his friend, but a much larger part told him that Sasuke deserved the pain and sleepless nights. He deserved to go through exactly what Naruto went through. "I still have one question," Naruto said slowly, looking Sasuke straight in the eye. "What did you plan to accomplish by coming here? By apologizing?" Sasuke shifted uncomfortably.

"I can't explain that to you. I have to show you." Before Naruto could question the statement, he found himself watching Sasuke's eyes turn from black to red. The next thing he knew, he was pulled into the world of the Sharingan.

_These days I haven't been sleeping,  
>Staying up playing back myself leaving,<br>When your birthday passed and I didn't call..._

Naruto opened his eyes, not knowing where he was. He looked around, but couldn't see anything. Suddenly a door opened off to his left, letting torchlight into the room from the hallway outside. Naruto looked up, shielding his eyes from the light, and saw Sasuke enter the room. "Sasuke!" he called out, wanting to know what was going on, but the boy didn't seem to hear him. _'You're in my memory, Naruto,' _said a voice in his head. Naruto realized it was Sasuke's voice, and his memory came back to him.

_'Oh yeah, the asshole used Sharingan on me!'_

_'I heard that.'_

Naruto crossed his arms over his chest, thinking up an image of himself sticking his tongue out and hoping the Uchiha saw it. Instead of fighting with the voice in his head, Naruto turned his attention back to Sasuke's memory of himself.

Memory Sasuke closed the door behind himself and used small katons to light the torches in his room. When the room was sufficiently lit, Naruto noticed that the walls and floor seemed to be made of solid rock. _'This must be in one of Orochimaru's underground hideouts,' _he thought. The Sasuke in his head didn't answer, but a sense of assurance came over Naruto that told him he was correct. Memory Sasuke sighed, bringing Naruto's attention back to him. The blond looked Memory Sasuke up and down. He was wearing the same clothes that Present Sasuke had been wearing, but Memory Sasuke had a katana sheathed at his side. Memory Sasuke had the same dark circles under his eyes that Present Sasuke had. _'This must not be too long ago,' _Naruto thought.

_'About a month and a half ago,' _Sasuke's voice provided. Naruto winced as he realized what a month and a half ago was. _'Correct.'_

Memory Sasuke picked something up off of a small desk on the wall opposite Naruto and carried it to his bed, where he sat down and held the object out in front of him. He stared at it. Naruto crept closer, leaning over the foot of the bed so that he could see over Memory Sasuke's shoulder. What Memory Sasuke was holding, he realized, was a calendar. The month was October, and the first nine days of the month had thick, black X's on them. Today was October tenth, Naruto's birthday.

"Happy birthday, dobe," Memory Sasuke muttered. Then the whole world faded to black.

_I think about summer, all the beautiful times  
>I watched you laughing from the passenger side,<br>And realized I loved you in the fall..._

Suddenly Naruto was assaulted with hundreds, thousands of images.

_'Memories,'_ Sasuke's voice corrected.

_'Memories... of me,' _Naruto realized as he watched all of the thoughts flashing in front of him. They were all memories of him. Him smiling, him laughing, him talking. All of the good times he and Sasuke had together. There were memories from missions, memories from classes, memories from training, even memories from just hanging out in the village.

They were all of Naruto, and they were all pleasant.

Naruto closed his eyes, not wanting to believe what he was seeing. In his mind, he pulled up all of his own thoughts. Unpleasant memories of Sasuke. The fights, the insults, the competition. The pure hatred in Sasuke's eyes. The cocky, condescending smirk that he always wore. Naruto was overcome with pain, and he wasn't entirely sure whether it was his own or Sasuke's.

_But then the cold came, the dark days  
>When fear crept into my mind.<br>You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye..._

When Naruto opened his eyes again he saw the same thoughts that had been playing through his own head, from Sasuke's point of view. But although they were the same memories, the felt... different, somehow. Naruto gave himself over, allowing himself to become immersed in the emotions and thoughts that went along with his friend's memories.

There was fear. Fear of being held down. Fear of not being able to accomplish his goals. Fear of someone using his feelings for Naruto against him. Fear of losing Naruto.

There was uncertainty. Whether or not to talk to Naruto about his fears. Whether or not to go to someone else for advice. Whether or not to leave the village.

There was sadness. From hurting his friend. From leaving his home and everything he had ever known.

And finally, there was regret. Sasuke realized that he had made all the wrong choices.

_I miss your tan skin,  
>Your sweet smile,<br>So good to me, so right..._

_Maybe this is wishful thinking,  
>Probably mindless dreaming,<br>But if we loved again I swear I'd love you right..._

The memories faded. Naruto was left in the blackness again, overwhelmed by Sasuke's emotions._ 'I didn't even know you were capable of this much emotion,' _he thought distantly. Sasuke scoffed quietly in response. Both boys were silent for a while as Naruto absorbed the information that Sasuke had forced into his brain. Before his thoughts started to run wild, Naruto said, "I... I need to be alone for a bit." Sasuke obliged, releasing his old friend from the illusion. A second later they were back in the forest, underneath the huge tree, the rain continuing to pour around them. Naruto blinked, disoriented by the sudden change of scenery. He buried his face in his palms again as a headache spread over his brain. He still didn't know what to think. Yes, he now understood Sasuke's side of the story, but that wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to take away the years of pain and suffering. It wasn't enough to take away the fact that Sasuke had left the village. It was too late now. Even if Naruto accepted Sasuke back with open arms, the rest of the village wouldn't. And the rest of the village wouldn't know the story of what had happened.

Naruto took deep breaths as he tried to figure out what was going to happen from there on. There were so many variables to factor into the equation, and Naruto knew he wouldn't be able to figure it out all alone. He still didn't exactly know what Sasuke had planned to accomplish by coming to him. Did Sasuke even want to go back to the village? Did he just want to apologize to clear his conscience? Did he want Naruto to run away with him so they could live happily ever after away from the village? Surely Sasuke knew that none of these situations were very likely. Quietly, the Uchiha spoke.

_**"I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't."**  
>So if the chain is on your door, I understand...<em>

_But this is me swallowing my pride,  
>Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night,<br>And I go back to December all the time..._

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,  
>Wishing I'd realized what I'd had when you were mine.<br>I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright,  
>And I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind...<em>

_**"I go back to December all the time..."**_

-:-

**A/N: Sorry to leave it unresolved at the end, I thought it was appropriate since you don't find out at the end of the song (or even the music video) whether or not the ex-boyfriend takes Taylor Swift back.**

**So, I hope you guys enjoyed. (: Reviews are deeply appreciated and give me motivation to write! See you next time! **


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